By Imam Murtadha Gusau
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful .All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all creation. May the salutations of Allah, His peace and blessings be upon our beloved Prophet, his family, his companions and his true and sincere followers until the Last Day – then to proceed:
Dear brothers and sisters! Know that marital life is built on affection and compassion as indicated by the words of Allah Almighty as follows: “And among His Signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” [Qur’an, 30:21]
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Respected brothers and sisters! Islam cuts off the path of factors leading to divorce and destruction of marital life. So that marital life continues with peace, understanding, love and harmony. Resulting in a balanced and happy family that produces children and grandchildren.
Marital life is built on affection and compassion as indicated by the words of Allah Almighty:
“And among His Signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” [Qur’an, 30:21]
Islam cuts off the path or factors leading to destruction of marital life. So that marital life continues with understanding, love and harmony. Resulting in a balanced family that produces good children and grandchildren.
And divorce is a significant issue because it demolishes the marital home, separates the family and breaks the woman.
In the authentic Hadith, the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:“Indeed the woman is like a rib, if you try to straighten her you will break her, and if you leave her, you will enjoy her in spite of the crookedness.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
There are many causes of divorce. Some are because of the husband, others are because of the wife, while others are because of the husband’s or wife’s families. And some other causes are because of the marital life environment. It is incumbent on the spouses especially if they have children between them that they minimise the opportunity for conflict between them. And to curb the opportunities for divorce that the Shaitan/Iblis (Satan) tries to magnify even if they are small. For how many a wife hated certain things about her husband and she was patient then he changed until she loved him? And how many a husband hated a particular behaviour in his wife until she changed it and then he loved her? And the marital life continued between them. In this regard the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:“A believer must not hate his believing wife; if he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another.” [Muslim]
And from the causes of divorce is that one or both of the spouses are not content with living with one another. Such that the man wishes for a more beautiful wife. Or for a wife that is more skilled in cooking or housekeeping. Men often compare their wife to what they see on the road, on television or on social media. In spite of the fact that these women are flaunting and displaying their charms to the maximum. And in many cases it were not for the make-up and adornment he would not even consider comparing them to his wife. For he sees such women in their best state and he sees his wife in her ordinary state. Nonetheless, he compares between them and this is certainly a great transgression.
Likewise there are wives that compare their husbands to what they see on the road, on the screen or on social media. Or she may compare him to her friend’s husbands. She may compare looks, style, his treatment and the relationship. And many women lie about their situation with their husbands. They only relate to their friends his best traits. And if she only knew his negative traits she would praise and thank Allah for her own husband.
Often a woman gets disappointed in her husband because he does not take her on trips or does not give her gifts that she wants because he is not financially able. In spite of the fact that he loves her, respects her and treats her well. These factors do not please her even though they are much more important than the material things no matter how much they are.
Dear brothers and sisters! Know that there is no blessing after Iman (faith) and well-being greater than being content. For whomsoever lives satisfied dies satisfied and wins by attaining the pleasure of Allah. Allah will make him satisfied on the Day of Judgement. Because Allah is the one who decrees the measures and he pairs the spouses. And He the Exalted subjects whom He will to whom He wills. And Allah gives of His Bounty to whom He wills without limit. So whomsoever is content with what Allah has decreed for him then he is content with Allah. And whomsoever is discontent with his provision is discontent with His Provider The Most High. In the authentic Hadith the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:”Look to one who is lower than you, and do not look to one who is above you. For indeed that is more worthy so that you will not belittle Allah’s favours upon you.”
Dear Muslims! And from among the causes of divorce is that the spouses become bored because of the routine life that does not change.
To break up this boredom, the husband should take care to provide his family relief; This could be through a short trip or a long trip especially if it is a trip of obedience to Allah Almighty such as Umrah or visiting Madinah. Or permissible travel that does not involve sin. For these things renew life between the spouses and remove the boredom and monotony.
Likewise, it is important for the wife to vary her cooking, her clothes and appearance for her husband. So that she renews herself in his mind and captivates his heart. Then he will not get bored of her. All of this is part of having good relations between the spouses that is enjoined in the Great Book, Al-Qur’an:”And live with them in kindness.” [Qur’an, 4:19]
And Allah The Most High Said:”And do to the wives similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable.” [Qur’an, 2: 228]
Yahya Bin Abdulrahman Al-Handhali said:
“I went to Muhammad Bin Al-Hanifah and he came out to me covered in a red blanket and his beard was dripping with perfume. I asked: What is this? He responded: I threw this red blanket over my wife and she covered my beard with perfume. Indeed they desire from us the same as we desire from them.”
All praises and thanks are due to Allah alone, Lord of the worlds. May the peace, blessings and salutations of Allah be upon our noble Messenger, Muhammad, and upon his family, his Companions and his true and sincere followers.
Murtadha Muhammad Gusau is the Chief Imam of Nagazi-Uvete Jumu’ah and the late Alhaji Abdur-Rahman Okene’s Mosques, Okene, Kogi State, Nigeria.
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